It’s not without trying

We’ve watched a shameful number of Christmas movies

There are lights on the bushes.

The mistletoe is hung.

Nativity sets are out.

Our trees are trimmed.

The candy jars have been filled.

Christmas cd’s are playing in the car.

And, the stockings are hung.

 

I’ve tried.  In fact, I’ve worked hard to prepare my home for Christmas. 

What’s not prepared is my heart.

Our family will not be together this Christmas.  Our daughter will not get to share in the joy of the season with us.  We won’t get to read to her the story of Jesus’ birth.  She isn’t opening an advent calendar and counting down the days.  She won’t wear new Christmas pajamas and be tucked into bed with the promise of gifts under the tree in the morning.  There won’t be a mommy and daddy peeking in on her to make sure she’s asleep.  She probably doesn’t even know that a mommy and daddy are waiting for her.  Christmas will most likely go on as every other day does for her. 

[Now, mom, before you go and get all worried about another down blog post, I’ll share that yes, I know we will have years and years of Christmases together.  I know that this Christmas is special because it is the final one Jeff and I will spend as the two of us.  We are surrounded by family and friends that love us and our daughter.  I know.  🙂 ]

There is one Christmas song that I have had on repeat since the first time I heard it this year.  We were driving home for Thanksgiving and it came on.  Only a few words in and I had it turned way up and tears were streaming down my cheek. 

I don’t know how the lyrics are intended, but I know of one little Christmas tree standing alone. Waiting for someone to come by.  That one little Christmas tree will surely light up this home.

One little Christmas tree was standing alone
Waiting for someone to come by
One little Christmas tree that never had grown
Cried as he looked up to the skyOh please Mr Father tree, the tallest of all
I’m so afraid and alone
Could one little Christmas tree so tiny and small
Light up someone’s home ’cause

One little Christmas tree can light up a home
So one little child can find a toy
One little Christmas tree can light up a home
So one little heart can find some joy

One little angel who was riding a star
Cried as she looked down at the tree
Oh please Mr Father tree wherever you are
May I give him the star you gave to me

Then in the heavens came a voice from afar
A voice that was heard throughout the world
Go down little angel girl and give him your star
Tonight he’ll light the world ’cause

One little Christmas tree can light up the world
So those who are lost may find their way
One little Christmas tree can light up the world
So all men may see you on Christmas Day

Precious, little Odette, we’ve got one little Christmas tree waiting for you!

 

 

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