I can’t believe I’m telling you this


Do it yourself.

Sounds good.  In theory.  Saves you money.  Gives you ownership of the project.  Provides entertainment.  Sure.  

So since we are on a tight budget and I’ve got the itch to put Odette’s room together, DIY it is.  Some projects turn out just as I planned.  Remember the dining room?

Some don’t.

My plan was knock out a kick butt, cool project and blog about it tonight.  Fail.  Not just teeny tiny fail, but a nothing went right fail.  I think with a lot of patience (that I don’t have today) and sweat equity I might be able to salvage it.  If I can pull it off, you might be hearing more about it.  If I don’t, my lips are sealed. 

But, let me share one highlight of the project.

Said project required spray paint.  Said spray paint kept cracking.  Annoying.  I decided to hightail it back to Lowes and seek professional advice.  It went something like this…protective coating, sand, strip, scrub, I’m sorry it’s a tough project ma’am, wash, new primer, paint again.  yada, yada, yada. 

But the dude kept looking at me weird.  I was thinking I had a bit of oreo in the corner of my mouth.  Wiped my mouth.  Strange withholding-a-grin look again.  I try the “admit it that the project is probably a disaster and should be thrown out” thing.  No.  I continue to get what I could only tell was a weird look.  I buy another can of spray paint.  Decide HE’s crazy.  I will scrub, sand, paint, but I most certainly am not going do all those costly steps.  And quit looking at me with that weird look!

I hop in the car, pick up the phone to call Jeff (legal in Indiana), and tell him about this weirdo guy and his looks.  I’m gonna explain the 27 steps he thinks I need to do and explain to Jeff why I don’t.  They didn’t mention that crap on those DIY websites I looked at before going to Lowes.  I was fired up.

Jeff, hello Jeff.  Answer your cellphone.  No answer. 

That’s when I decide to look in the rearview mirror.  I quickly erupt into the loudest laughter.  The people in nearby cars probably thought I was crazy.  Laughing at myself.  But if only they knew.  They would be laughing hysterically too.  It seems I got a little carried away with my spray painting.  When I looked into the mirror I noticed that I had…

2 nostrils full of teal blue nose hair!

That explains the weird looks.

It turns out HE’s not the crazy one.  I AM!

I gathered my composure, drove my blue nostriled self home, blew the blue crud into a tissue, gave the project another shot (didn’t work), and swore that I will never go to Lowes again.

This, my friends, is a true story.  I am really hoping I can pull this project together, earn back my dignity, and show off something other than my nostrils that is teal blue.


One thought on “I can’t believe I’m telling you this

  1. Ok that is hilarious! If only Odette knew all that her mama went through!! Don’t give up on DIY! You are still awesome at it!!!

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