Who my daughter is and who she never will be

I had a friend (Hi Dan!) send me this article awhile back when I posted about raising a black daughter.

A Healthy Black Identity

I printed it off and put on the counter to read “later.”  Jeff found it a few days later and read it over his morning cup of coffee.  He went on and on about how enlightening it was.  He gave me a brief synopsis and I put reading it on my to-do list.  Sadly, it sat on the list for quite some time as I didn’t want to read anything that required a brain cell.  When I finally got around to reading it, I learned exactly was Jeff was talking about.

Sure, it is one article written by one person, I get that.  I know that you can find research to support any wild and crazy theory you have, but this was really the first time I have read anything that addressed the issues they brought to light.  When I finished the last page I exhaled a huge sigh of relief.

The journey won’t be easy.  I can’t ignore it.  It is an issue.

Odette is black.  I am not.  But, the truth of the matter is she will never be who her black friends down the street are. I don’t need to worry about forcing it.

Neither do you.

If you are a transracial family print the article.  Read it when you get a chance.  Come back and comment.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.


2 thoughts on “Who my daughter is and who she never will be

  1. Hi Sarah! Glad you found the article informative. At the very least I think it’s a different perspective to consider. As Renee said above, I agree that it would be great for a study like this to be completed on a much larger scale.

  2. I read the article and found it very interesting. I do agree that it brought up some interesting points. I also wonder what the information would show geographically as well. I don’t think that experiences would be the same in the south as opposed to the northeast. I know they said they had a geographically diverse group but the sample size was pretty small and they had to point out the recruitment bias. I would love for a study like this to be conducted as a part of a national study.

    As I read the article it confirmed to me how we have to be intentional about the activities and options available to us as transracial adoptive parents. I think that we now look to decisions with greater criteria. We know that we are not likely going to live in the same place forever so when we move a more ethnically diverse neighborhood and church will be on our list. We have considered changes to our lives now and adjust as we can. We can only do our best as parents and hope that it is good enough.

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