And then it happened and I wasn’t there

This past weekend the weather was gorgeous.  Seriously gorgeous here in central Indiana.   I opened the windows in the house.  We went out with no jackets on.  I let Odette go barefoot in the house* and even for a few minutes outside (see picture of her little piggies in yesterday’s post.)  It was as if the calendar was turned back a month.  It certainly didn’t feel like November in the midwest.

Today that all changed.

It rained most of the night and the winds whipped through.  I could hear our willow tree slapping the side of the house.  When I checked the weather today before heading out it said 42 degrees and showed a rain/snow mix.  I thought surely the chance of snow had passed.  I gave Odette a kiss goodbye and told her that it was cold today so she would need to wear her big coat.  (Have I mentioned Jeff does morning drop off?  Lovely.)  I have learned it is a good idea to prepare her for what’s ahead, and hopefully daddy overhears and my job is done without having to look as if I am questioning his parental judgment.  (2 birds, 1 stone, wise momma)

To my shock and surprise I looked out my classroom window midmorning and saw ginormous, fluffy, white snowflakes falling from the sky.  I knew the day would come.  I knew it would happen.  My issue was that I was not with her.  I didn’t get to see if her eyes lit up in wonder.  My little girl saw her first ever snowflakes at school.  Without me.  That was a hard, hard mommy moment.  There might have been some serious fighting back of tears.  I wish I could have led her outside by my hand to see beauty that the first snow can be.  Sure, it was all over in 20 minutes and an hour later there wasn’t a trace to be seen.  But the damage had been done.  I missed Odette’s first snow…

As I drove over to get her I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to mention it all.  Maybe if I completely ignored it, we could experience her first snow next time, ya know like when we are together.  I walked into her classroom and ice was one of the first words out of her mouth.  I forced myself to swallow my emotions and simply asked if she touched it.  She said no.  Thankfully we will have that to look forward to.

Some may think I am overreacting and crazy for getting so caught up in the fact that Odette SAW snow for the first time without me.  Maybe you are right.  Maybe though, there is more to it than snow.  My little African beauty came to me at three years old.  There are so many firsts that we didn’t share.  I was hoping that another one wouldn’t slide by.

Today I’m thankful for all the firsts yet to come.

Sarah Signature

*Anybody else raised to always wear socks or slippers in the house?  I was.  Each day I morph more into my mom and insisting that Odette wears something on her feet is just another example of how the transformation is taking place.

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One thought on “And then it happened and I wasn’t there

  1. im paranoid about missing my little girl’s firsts too- its normal:)
    dont worry; there will be MANY more to come! (including snow ball fights!!!)
    even when you miss her first time on something, her first time WITH MOMMY is always better anyway:) mommies make everything more fun!!!

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