My Miracles

For 18 weeks today, I’ve had a miracle growing inside me. My Baby Center app tells me that the baby is now 5 1/2 inches long or the length of a bell pepper.  (That’s funny for me to read because bell peppers are about the only vegetable that doesn’t disgust me right now.)  This miracle has eye lids, blood vessels, tiny fingers, and a beating heart.  We have heard the pitter patter of its little heart 3 times now and we have even been able to see the squirmy bean on a sonogram.  There is a life growing inside of me.  Soon I will be able to feel our bebe moving about.  Maybe I have already; I’m not sure.  God has entrusted us to create, nourish, and protect this innocent being that He has blessed us with.

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Babies are a miracle.  To think that just a few months ago it was the size of a sesame seed and looked more like a tadpole, to today when it is weighing in at about 7 ounces and looks like a miniature human being.  God is incredible!  There is absolutely no disputing that pregnancy is a miracle.

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I will confess that it wasn’t very long ago when Jeff and I talked about not having any biological children.  We had Odette home and A on the way.  Everything looked so perfect.  One of each, no only child, even number, etc., etc.  We thought maybe we didn’t need to grow our family anymore and maybe God’s plan for our family only included our adopted children.  We mentioned this to friends of ours and it was shared that we would be missing out on one of God’s greatest miracles by not birthing a child.  I didn’t get it because I had already experienced God’s greatest miracle.

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You see I actually have two miracles growing inside me. Two little lives.  Pick yourself up off the floor, Mom.  It isn’t twins that I am talking about.  One is growing in my womb and the other in my heart.  When we submitted our application with our organization it was like seeing those 2 pink lines.  We were overwhelmed with joy and excitement.  We had a child, our child, on the way.

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Getting the height and weight of our boy and hearing a rundown of his overall health is just like listening to the heartbeat on that monitor.  It is magical.  When pictures and video flood my inbox, it is the greatest ultrasound that a mom with a child a world away can get.

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The boy whose face I first saw back in December has grown in me from that tiny sesame seed of my son to the one who is taking over each beat of my heart.  Just as I watch my stomach stretch and grow each day as the baby’s life is developing within me, so is my heart stretching and growing as I am drawn closer to the son he has for me in Congo.

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Adoption is a miracle.  Out of the millions of children in this world in need of a forever family I have no doubt that A is thee perfect child for our family.  Seriously, I wish I could show you his face.  You would see it too.  We are goofy (embarrassingly so, so we keep it within our 4 walls), affectionate, and loving.  His huge toothy smile is what is missing from our family pictures.  I know that he is going to give Little Miss a run for the money.  I am betting that just as many jokes as she likes to play, he’s got them too.  Only God could search the world over and perform the miraculous task of placing our son in our arms.

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So yes, we are incredibly blessed.  We have this miracle baby swimming around in my uterus, but we also have a miracle little boy playing in the dirt in Congo.  Both are gifts from God.  Both have drawn me closer to Christ than I’ve ever been.  Both are His plans for our family.  Both are miracles.

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So please family and friends, remember that we are a part of two miracles playing out before our eyes.  When we don’t get as visibly excited as you would like us to be about a heartbeat, ultrasound, trimester, etc. please know that it is only because we have that very excitement each step of the way with our adoption and it is hurtful when only one is celebrated.  I am right there with you, pregnancy is pretty stinking incredible and is in fact a miracle.  Adoption is too.  Your way of growing your family isn’t more special than ours.  We are very blessed that we get to experience both, but we weren’t missing out on God’s miracle. Maybe the miracle God has planned for you isn’t typical, usual, or expected.  I wish that more people would open up their hearts to Him and see what He has in store for their lives.

Love,

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A mom to three miracles

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5 thoughts on “My Miracles

  1. This is beautiful! I stumbled upon your blog fairly recently as my husband and I started to research Congo adoption information and I love reading your updates.

  2. This is wonderful! My husband and I are also adopting a little boy from the Congo, and also have a surprise pregnancy! It is so nice to hear another mama’s heart on this, and to know that I’m not alone in the emotional ups and downs of this. I admire you for your openess, especially since most people don’t understand why people choose to adopt before trying for biological children.

  3. Pingback: Growing Your Family: Pregnancy & Adoption | Jillian Blackburn

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